New Medical Discovery and more

Medical science has discovered in the human body

a nerve that connects the eyeball to the asshole.

It is called the anal optic nerve, and is responsible

for giving people a shitty outlook on life.

If you don't believe this,

pull a hair from your ass and see if

it doesn't bring a tear to your eye !!!!!
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Random knowledge

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.  Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow.  Do not walk beside me either.  Just pretty much
leave me the hell alone, what are you a fuckin stalker?

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and
a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn.  So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable.  If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have
their shoes.

8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that
comes from bad judgment.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like the Force.  It has a light side and a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women.  Neither one works.

19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

20. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...
Then things get worse.

21. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night.

22. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

23. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

24. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

         THE MOST WASTED DAY OF ALL IS ONE IN
                WHICH WE HAVE NOT LAUGHED!